not funny Archives

You are not going to get our expert opinion on this one. We plead the fifth. The following is from the patent application:

Preferably the sensors are of a type which do not require special attachment systems, gels or pastes to make proper electrical contact, for example they may be dry electrodes of a type recently developed, made from conductive rubber, which rely only on naturally-produced sweat to make a conductive bridge between the skin and the electrode. Preferably, the undergarment comprises underpants having electrodes arranged internally, at least in the waistband area. Preferably, electrodes are so arranged as to measure the passing of pulses of the central artery, and the left and right femoralis, as well as the ECG. The system may also be arranged to monitor the temperature, the posture and the level of activity of the subject.
Preferably, pulse detection is achieved using bio-impedance methodology, by injecting a small AC current using a first pair of electrodes, and detecting voltage changes caused by the injected current, with a second pair of electrodes so as to produce an impedance plethysmogram. The preferred arrangement of the electrodes is such that it is possible to measure the plethysmogram of the central aorta, as well as the left and right femoralis. At the same time, it is also possible to measure the ECG, using the dry electrodes in the waistband.

Patent application: WEARABLE BLOOD PRESSURE MONITORING SYSTEM
(hat tip: NewScientist via Engadget)

This week we celebrate the National Medical Transcriptionist Week, a commemoration of keys pressed and errors not made by thousands of dedicated professionals. And what better illustration of the effort some transcriptionists put into their art, than a keyboard that was used for over eight years by one of the industry’s best.
A proclamation by President Ronald Reagan designating the National Medical Transcriptionist Week in May 1985:

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Kristin O’Friel, a student at the NYU art school, has designed this corset to help you stop breathing as the CO2 levels in the environment go up. It is not clear to us whether this was meant as a medical device, an artistic statement, a pulmonary fibrosis simulator, or a fashionable euthanasia machine for the environmentally conscious.
From the artist’s site:

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The title seems to speak enough for itself. This thing could also be used orally or underarm.
More on the craze at Cartoon Brew…

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A Chinese man, able to afford only part of his surgical treatment, was not able to cover the final costs of the surgery, leaving a 7 by 3 inch open wound in his chest which he’s been keeping covered using cigarette packs for a whole decade now.

Part of his ribs and skin were hacked away by surgeons in 1998, hoping to remove part of his infected lungs.

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Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital

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The European Union’s noise-at-work limits seem to have made a whole section of classical music no longer playable across the continent, The New York Times reports:

Tests showed that the average noise level in the orchestra during the piece, “State of Siege,” by the composer Dror Feiler, was 97.4 decibels, just below the level of a pneumatic drill and a violation of new European noise-at-work limits. Playing more softly or wearing noise-muffling headphones were rejected as unworkable.

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For this April Fools’ Day, ThinkGeek, a purveyor of the goofiest geek toys on the market, unveiled a USB pregnancy test kit that’s almost believable in its function. From the “product page”:

The process starts off like most pregnancy tests. You pee on a stick, specifically the absorbent test strip at one end. But everything’s different after that first step. Remove the cap from the other end of the stick (cleverly provided to keep you from accidentally contaminating the wrong end) to reveal the USB connector. Pop it in your computer. The power from your USB port starts the electrospray ionization process, creating a spectrograph of the various masses for your analysis. Get it? Your analysis? Urinalysis? *rimshot* Moving on.

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We’re all mature medical professionals here, but as the resident engineer, this particular Medgadgeteer never had the unique opportunity to learn of all the horrible things that can go wrong in one’s series of tubes (GI tract).
In searching the New England Journal of Medicine for the AED post, we came across the monster you see pictured above. A still colonoscopy picture of a 20cm worm is one thing, but the NEJM and authors Jang and Lee gave us the treat of watching it writhe around on video.

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