Video Kiosks to Speed Up Clinic Reception ala Airline Ticketing

I couldn't resist riffing on this on my Weird Medical News blog. Here's what I wrote:

Meet SUKIT, the Single Use Kindly Information Terminal.

As reported by Medgadget, SUKIT brings the technology of the airport to the medical clinic. Just as you can use a kiosk at the ticket counter to get your boarding pass quickly and without the meddlesome intervention of a human, you can use SUKIT to speed up registration at a hospital or medical clinic.

SUKIT was made by OKI, a Japanese company whose trademark attorneys apparently don’t speak colloquial English. I’m guessing that they expect this to be pronounced SOO-kit, but the first American 9-year-old to see it is going to pronounce it differently.

I’m also wondering how useful SUKIT will be in your typical American emergency department. Will someone so dead drunk that he can hardly stand up have enough fine motor control to use the touch screen? Are SUKIT’s beautiful designer colors impervious to blood, saliva, and other bodily fluids? Will the patient be asked a series of questions, essentially performing self triage? (i.e. Are you conscious? Are you bleeding from an artery? If you put a hand on your chest, can you feel a heartbeat?)

Also, I’m wondering what other innovations medical clinics could usefully borrow from modern airports. Let’s see, how about . . .

* Overbooking.
* Frequent flier miles.
* Long, restful lines.
* Body cavity searches. . . . Wait, we already have that one.

Likewise, maybe airports should borrow some ideas from medicine . . .

* The use of amnestic agents.
* KY Jelly.
* Requiring everyone to change into backless gowns. This would facilitate passage through security and make most everyone more docile and polite.

—Bob Finn